Don't Get Fooled Again

No, you didn't miss my last blog. That's because I never wrote it. In the spirit of the season, I was being lazy. Isn't that what summer is supposed to be all about? Taking time off, seeing what life will feel like when you get to retire. A perfect day would be one with a book in my hands, lounging by the pool with a tall glass of lemonade. Follow that up with a BBQ dinner, a game of croquet on the backyard lawn and cool watermelon for dessert. I have actually been able to enjoy all of the above but the watermelon this season has been a slight disappointment. You'd think at my age I'd be past getting duped but duped I have been - several times - by none other than my neighborhood grocery store (in particular the produce section!). 

Yesterday I noticed a big sign advertising SEEDLESS WATERMELON for dirt cheap prices. I take my time choosing one that has a good deep thump, yellow on the back and cross my fingers as I pay for my carefully selected purchase that I picked a winner. I get home, crack it open only to see a bazillion seeds. What the?! Nope, they aren't the noticeable black ones, though there are a few of those scattered in this watermelon. I think I ended up with about 2 cups worth of watermelon and the rest was a veritable hoard of seeds. Hello - the sign says "seedless". Ok, in all honesty it'd be pretty impossible to have a seedless watermelon unless it came from Dupont but having light colored seeds running rampant in my pink watermelon is kind of false advertising. Why not say "blending in seeded watermelon" or "barely visible seeded watermelon"? Now when I purchase my "seedless watermelon" I will expect nothing more than the same ol' watermelon that I used to know as a kid but with light colored seeds trying to hide out.

The Cat's Meow

So what’s a woman to do once she gets older, her kids are no longer a priority and she finds herself living alone? Many have gone the route of “cat lady” but not me. That will never happen unless I happen to win the lottery or find myself longing to live on skid row. Let me explain: recently I got a free kitty. Wow! Who knew free could be so misleading and expensive! After shots, neutering, micro-chipping, three (count them, THREE!) trips to the vet for upper respiratory problems and an eye infection, kitty food, kitty litter, and toys my free little friend has done a major number (pun intended) to my budget. Did I have any money reserved for such an expensive kitty? Nope. Am I scrambling to find money in my budget to not only feed this little guy but my son and myself as well? Yep. Even though my furry buddy has created havoc with my already constrained budget I have to admit, he’s actually worth it. There has not been a day that has gone by since he entered our home that I haven’t laughed out loud at his hilarious antics. He reminds me daily how great life can be the moment you wake up, what adventures lie ahead and he has the ability to calm nerves by being available for nightly snuggles. Guess it’s true what they say, the best things in life are free…sorta.

Voting Time

No, you didn't get that wrong. I haven't posted for two weeks in a row because it seems working three jobs at one time can be pretty time consuming and distracting. I decided to go for a vote as to which is the best replacement to my blog until next Sunday - cute kitty videos or a "Gone Fishing" image? To quote W.C. Fields, "Never work with animals or children". My guess is the kitty videos will win. The first one is titled "This Never Happened" and the second is called "Take THAT writer's block!"

 

 

She Works Hard for the Money

I have three jobs. That's right, THREE! The good news is, we won't starve. The bad news is, I'll be exhausted and I'll make JUST enough so we won't starve. All are part-time so that roughly equals out to a 12 hour day. I need one of my jobs so I can keep my health insurance coverage, another is needed so I can get a new credit to put on my resume and the third is needed...so we don't starve. I also have three mouths to feed now. Yep, during all this craziness I decided to add fuel to the fire by adding in a rambunctious kitten named Clarance (aka The Big Man). Remember the good ol' days of mom slavin' away at a kitchen stove? If only!

Lookin' Hot

So how many of you out there are thinking Mother Nature is going through menopause?” Talk about your hot flash! Hell-o! I went outside and smelled something cooking – turns out it was my skin. Like I need more wrinkles and age spots?! Looking like a cheetah totally blows my chances of becoming a cougar. 

The Dreaded "A" Word

That's right, I'm not even going to say it. You'll just have to figure out the word yourself. However, I will give you some clues. Take for instance this weekend when I had scheduled to chat it up with an awesome friend of mine (Hi, Kelly!). The day before I was thinking of her and thought we really need to plan to get together. Come Saturday night at around 10:30 P.M. I checked my email and lo and behold there was one from her cell phone asking, "Are we still on?" sent at 10:30...A.M.! Immediately my mind heard the epic words of Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now, "The HORROR! The HORROR!" and then my mind raced to the horror of the "A" word. A word that signifies you are forgetting important things and you're slipping fast into the perils of old age.

To continue with my major slip-up, I raced to locate what I consider my bible of organization - my beloved planner. That little book keeps my schedule (and my brain) straight. When looking at this week I could barely read anything because there was so much crossing off, circling, and re-entries. No wonder I messed up on meeting up with her. Listed were several days of my cousin visiting from Washington state. She arrived just as school was winding down while my fabulous car (NOT!) had the engine light icon light up so a choreography of coordinating my car with my mom's and my sisters was implemented in order to make various appointments such as seeing my bank rep because of a major fiasco that happened with my renting a car. Don't get me started. That story is at least as long as the week. Suffice it to say, I had money transferred by phone so I could have immediate access to rent a car and nothing was processed for 10 days - including the day I needed to rent a car. In order to make funds available that morning I was advised by Chase to deny payment (Say What?!). No, it didn't make sense but it worked...until 7 days later when my credit card said I was $200 over limit. 

I could go on but instead I'll just continue with the fact this week I joined Spence for two appointments with two UC Advisers, I met with a woman interested in ASAP, I created a vegetable garden for my mom, I took my sister to and from the airport and looked after her place. Throw in the fact that the previous weekend I traveled to L.A. on Friday (with the rental that 'caused a major financial domino effect!), attended a wedding in San Diego on Saturday and Sunday traveled back to L.A. with Spencer and then started up my last week of school. Tired by just reading this stuff? Me too! And last but certainly not least, add in that my mom has been to and from emergency a couple of times because of a brain aneurysm she had on the night of Spencer's graduation. No lie. Luckily, she is doing fine but man, what a scare!

So I'm concluding this entry with the optimistic point of view that it was not the dreaded "A" word that caused me to totally zone out on an important chat fest with my hilarious friend Kelly but it was the "O" words - over scheduled and overwhelmed. Perhaps I should do what most people do in the summer and schedule out a little bit of R & R time. It's going to be a little difficult though, considering this week I'll be traveling to San Jose for an interview with KQED, possibly another job interview in L.A. and then attending Orientation Day with Spence for UC Davis. The next week I'm scheduled to be working two jobs, setting up a grad party for Spencer and looking for a new car. Maybe the trick is I need to just get rid of my planner!

A Message From THE President

My whirlwind vacay is over and it's time to get back to blogging. I believe in equality so naturally I have a video message for dads on Father's Day - only this time the message is from THE president. Here's to Father's Day and to great dads everywhere!

Gone Fishing

No, you didn't miss my latest blog. Just like me, my blog is taking a vacation for the next two weeks. See ya back on the 16th!

Being Exposed

 

Decolletage. Such a lovely sounding word. Elizabeth Taylor brought attention to this area when wearing her spectacular diamond and emerald necklace on the night she accepted her Best Actress award for Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf. Everything from puka shells (you remember them, right?) to Hermes scarves have adorned this part of a woman's body. Fashion designers have reveled in creating necklines that accentuate a woman’s decolletage. Much to my dismay, I’ve recently discovered my décolletage has turned into a YECHolletage. Time, sun and exposure to the elements have resulted in creating an area full of freckles, spots and wrinkles. Given that summer is soon to arrive, I give praise to the genius who came up with the sleeveless turtleneck!

Going Incognito

“Let me introduce myself. My name is Jill and I am 49 years old.” I ask you, is there anything wrong with being who people presume you to be?

I know a teacher at school who, no matter how many times I've reminded him what my real name is, continues to call me “Jill”. I’ve been called Susan many times (hey, it’s close) and occasionally Sarah - but JILL?! Most people rarely use your name when greeting you. They’ll say, “Hey, how’s it goin’?” or “What’s up?” This guy makes a point of saying the name he’s convinced I was born with in every sentence he utters. “Hey, Jill! How’s it going, Jill? You planning anything fun this weekend, Jill? Are you getting together with your family, Jill?”. He reinforces my name in his brain as if he is branding it with a searing hot iron to make sure he never forgets it. Even my family doesn’t use my name that often when speaking with me. I have since experienced the seven stages of grief with this guy and currently I am at the final one – acceptance (that he’ll never remember my real name) and hope (that others don't hear him and end up calling me “Jill” too). Did I mention he’s going to be the Vice Principal next year? I kid you not.

Moving right along, it is an ongoing fascination for high school kids to guess how ancient adults can be. During a recent interrogating conversation of "How old ARE you?!", I asked them, “How old do I look?” They of course responded with another question. “Are you between 45 and 50?” I answered the way any respectable person over the age of 50 would, “Yes!” Now they had a decision to make. Guesses of 46 and 48 were bantered about and finally Giovanni, with great conviction I might add, said “49!” I believe he chose this number because anything past 35 is OLD so 49 was next to death. I responded incredulously, “Giovanni!”  as I was actually thrilled I was being perceived as younger than 50. He took my reply to mean that he was correct. At that point they all started saying, “Oh, Ms. Griffin!! That’s it, isn’t it? We knew it!” I did not dissuade them from their expert sleuthing beliefs. I had to hand it to them, at least they knew my name!

A Message From the President

Happy Mother's Day to all you "bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan" moms out there! I thought I'd do something a tad different this week and instead of writing an entry, I thought I'd post this video. I absolutely love it. And yes, your eyes do not deceive you - I posted a day early 'cause I'm a super-awesome, overly efficient mom (well, sometimes...). Enjoy!!

A Debit to Society

I know, I’m showing my age when I think about the “good ol’ days” but on certain occasions I tend to reminisce to simpler times.  Remember when someone pulled out their check book and you rolled your eyes because it was such a hassle? They had to pull out a pen, fill out the check and then show their I.D. Of course you were behind the person who was taking forever to pay and of course you decided to buy ice cream that day…and it was melting because their purchase was taking so long. With a debit card it was just a quick slide and out the door you went.

Nowadays it takes me an hour just to get past the register if I use a debit card. “Are you a member of our store?” If you answer “yes” tack on five minutes scrambling to find their card somewhere buried in your black-hole purse or racking your brain trying to remembering that stupid number they assigned you (note: the number is stupid, not you). If you decide to pay by debit card tack on extra 10 minutes of punching "this and that" before you get your receipt: verify you are using a debit card, punch in your “secret” pin number, verify whether or not you do or don’t you want extra cash, verify the amount charged is correct, verify you agree to pay this amount and finally, verify your grandmother’s middle name is “Mamie”. Ok, I added that last bit but it wouldn’t surprise me if that showed up some day. Sheesh! Weren’t these newfangled (that’s right, I used the word “newfangled”!) improvements supposed to make our lives easier and the process quicker? It makes a person long for the days of that super-simple ol’ school method of carrying around cash.